During January and February we’re walking through core areas of our 20something journey that we have to navigate well…and then answering your questions. You can listen to this past Tuesday night’s talk HERE.

How do we apply biblical standards of purity when our modern environments are riddled with sex and lust?

Emily – This is an area where I think a lot of people wrestle because our culture and environments are so riddled with pictures, music, movies, television, books, etc., that encourage or promote the exact opposite of purity. A few weeks ago, we talked about guarding your heart and part of that is fixing your eyes directly ahead, your feet on the right path, and keeping your mouth from saying perverse things. All of these things, when walking closely with the Holy Spirit will help you to have a better gauge on what around us is pure and what is not. Jason mentioned on Tuesday evening that first committing to doing what is pure and then practicing it are great starting points.

Paul – We have to first be familiar with what those biblical standards are. We can’t be committed at all if we have no knowledge of what God says is best. Once we know what God says is best then we have to be disciplined in our carrying out of those standards. The reality is it only becomes easier and easier to justify our own actions as our culture becomes more and more infiltrated by sex and lust. For many, the simple decision to prioritize and act on God’s standards is the hardest. But it’s easier to pursue purity when we value it as much as God does.

Does lust only involve using someone in a sexual nature? There’s many ways to use people without sexual intentions.

Adam – No. Like Jason said in the podcast and last night at Saturate Eight, lust can be much more then a sexual thing. For some women it could be a relationship that they are lusting over. It might play out that they give them selves sexually to someone to get that relationship, but the core of what they are lusting after isn’t physical.

Paul – No. Lust is an obsessive desire for anything. Like you said, there are many ways to use people…and that’s what we’re trying to raise awareness of and challenge our perspective on. Our hope is that we’ll choose to give value to others, to anyone, by giving them honor and appreciating them the same way that God does.

Lusting after someone’s relationship with God is sketchy right?

Emily – I think this could be an issues of semantics and how we choose to define lust. Like any relationship, each person’s relationship with God is different and unique to them based on the circumstances and journey that have gotten them to where they’re at now and how they choose to invest in the relationship. I think it’s fair and relatively safe to look at someone’s relationship with God and long for or desire the depth and/or some of the elements of that relationships and, perhaps, long to share in some of that (i.e., time spent in prayer and communicating with God, knowledge of God’s Word, etc.) while not lusting or doing anything to intentionally interfere. If you know someone who has a deep connection with God, perhaps asking them to share their story and some of the qualities of that relationship and how it has formed into what it currently  is is a good place to start. God desires each of us to connect with Him in a way that is unique to us because he longs for each of us to know him personally.

Paul – I’d say yes. Our ultimate goal ought to pursue God himself…not someone else’s interaction with him. I really believe he is able to exceed our expectations and longings…even the best ones we see in others. Long for God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

If I know I’ve lusted after someone, what are some practical things I can do to correct that and make right with that person?

Paul – If it’s happened internally (in your own mind), I don’t know that anything needs to be said to them. I’d definitely confess it to God and ask for his forgiveness as well as confess that to a trustworthy friend of the same sex who can keep you accountable and encourage to keep your thoughts in check. I’d also pray and ask God to guard my mind and fix my thoughts on things that would honor him.

During January and February we’re walking through core areas of our 20something journey that we have to navigate well…and then answering your questions. You can listen to this past Tuesday night’s talk HERE.

You talked about respect, but how should we show respect to those that don’t respect us?

Emily – We often hear the phrase, respect is earned. Both in my experience over the years and when I consider the ways that Jesus loved and respected others, I’ve come to learn and understand that respect is best when just simply given…regardless of the circumstances, the past, my emotions, personal desires, etc. So when I feel like respect isn’t being shown to me or someone I know, I try to take on that perspective along with realizing that there might be other factors coming into play about what I view as another person’s lack of respect. The reality is that we are all imperfect, flawed people and that often manifests itself differently in each of our lives. Feeling disrespected is an opportunity to turn a potentially hurtful situation into an opportunity to show love and breath new life in a surprising way into someone else’s journey.

Adam - This is a great question. Let me try to answer it with out getting to lengthy. The example I gave in my talk was about the value of honor. Respect and Honor can really be two different things, but in the context of your question I’ll respond this way. Just because a person treats us poorly (or disrespect us) doesn’t mean they become less human or less loved by God. It’s important for us to learn this. God’s love is not conditional, and if that’s a value we are supposed to be living we should be loving people no matter how we are treated. Does that mean we will be taken advantage of? Maybe. Does that mean it change the other person’s attitude. Possibly. But when we communicate and build relationships with these people it needs to be through the lens of God’s love.

In what ways can we cleanse our hearts so that we can strengthen our communication?

Emily – We talked a couple of weeks ago about how our relationship with God is the only thing that can truly make our hearts new. That being said, continuing to discover who God is and the life of Jesus coupled with a desire to live like Him will allow for our hearts to begin to be transformed into the likeness of Christ. I believe this mindset is one way to begin to see people, conversations, and circumstances differently and as result engage them in a new and different way.

Paul – I agree with Emily, that our first step begins when we start a relationship with Jesus, when we ask him to make us new. From there, I think it’s a continual process of praying Psalm 139:23-24 like we have been. Each day, we should be asking God to search us, test our thoughts, point out anything that’s not pleasing, and lead us into real life. A third thing is we really have to give great consideration to what we allow to shape us. We should be proactive in our filtering process so that things that aren’t going to bear good fruit don’t take hold.

 Don’t forget non-verbal communications too!

 Adam – I totally agree! Non-Verbals are a huge part of the way we communicate and also show the values of heart! Great point!

This week at Saturate Eight we are asking the question, “Why do I always feel like I mess up my relationships?” This could be any relationship. With your boss. With your parents. Your friends. Your Facebook “friends.” You get the idea.

With that in mind I thought I’d share a couple tips on connecting that I recently learned about while reading John Maxwell’s “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect“. Something that’s important to remember in relationships is that just talking to someone doesn’t mean that you have connected. Connecting is essential in relationships to make traction, to move forward.

3 Ways To Connect Like A Boss

1) Connectors Connect on Common Ground – In our relationships it’s important that it be based off something. Otherwise it might not be anything more then an acquaintance. Practically that means it’s important to find some common ground. Don’t assume you know everything about someone or that they can’t change. Take the time to share experiences with others. This also means that you yourself need to open up to others as well. Take the time to find common ground, like a boss.

2) Connectors Inspire People – I know the first thought that might come in your head when reading that is you aren’t an inspirational person. I don’t believe that. You shouldn’t believe that. In fact, you are very inspirational. So how do you inspire people? Care for them. Let them know you are there to serve them. Be others focused. Call them out to higher, better things! All the while, make sure you are living those things out too. If you believe and add value to others, you’ll be inspiring others like a boss. (See what I did there?)

3) Connectors Live What They Communicate – We’ve all heard the phrases and cliches about living what you preach, but honestly, it’s true! Tell me the last time you met someone, they told you one thing and then went and did the other, did you want to keep hanging out with them afterwards? Probably not. No one enjoys a two-faced person. So, when connecting in your relationships make sure you don’t do the same! Some how it’s easy to justify in our minds (I know because I do it all the time) but have integrity! Do what’s right and walk your talk. If you do this simple but hard principle, you’ll be connecting like a boss.

These are just three simple principles in Maxwell’s book. It’s a great book I highly recommend. My hope is that you take one of these three practices and try it today. See how it helps you connect better and tightens some of the relationships in your life.

(Photo Props)

During January and February we’re walking through core areas of our 20something journey that we have to navigate well…and then answering your questions. You can listen to this past Tuesday night’s talk HERE.

“What is your definition of ‘real life’?”

Emily – For me, I would say real life is living the best we can according the ways that God desires for each of us to live. There are several places in scripture where God gives us instructions on the best way to do things, simply because He cares deeply for us. Real life is not a life without fun and living by stringent rules, but rather it is a lifestyle of learning to honor God with our thoughts, our words, our actions, our motives, etc.

Paul – When we say “Lead us into Real Life” what we’re talking about is life lived God’s way. The passage actually says “everlasting” life. It’s a life that begins now and continues for eternity. In the book of John, it says that Jesus came that we may have life and have it more abundantly. So when we talk about real life, we’re pointing to a life that is full and purposeful because it’s focused on living God’s way and is fueled by God’s power.

 ”How do you fix a broken heart?”

Emily – Last week (1/17) we talked a lot about how God is the only one that can make your heart new. I think this applies here, as well. There are realities and consequences to doing a poor job of guarding your heart…in my experience this goes far beyond almost a physical aching that we can experience to our minds and emotions being held captive to a situation or circumstance. In those seasons, healing takes place when we invite God into what we’re dealing with and ask him to restore us and renew us. Spending time in the Word discovering and re-discovering Truth, sharing our story with others who will guide, instruct, and encourage, being mindful of our thoughts and actions are practical things that can be done to begin this process. More than anything, if your heart is broken or hurting, know that there is hope and restoration found in Jesus.

Paul – I’m going to give my best shot at this answer without knowing why it’s broken. Knowing why would help me provide a more specific answer. But overall, fixing broken hearts isn’t easy. I think there are some steps to overcoming broken hearts that would help most situations though: 1) Believe what God says about life…believe the truth that he is in control and cares deeply about us 2) Evaluate what truly happened or why you feel this way. What is the truth about the situation, not necessarily how I “feel” 3) Extend forgiveness. God encourages us in the same way that we’ve been forgiven much, we must freely forgive 4) Ask forgiveness of others if you’ve contributed to hearts being broken 5) Saturate yourself with God’s word, prayer, and the encouragement of good people around you.

 ”Guarding my heart toward action to fit in versus the true belief in the situation. Thinking values and personal morales. How would you go about this?”

Adam – I think what you might be asking is “what do you do if you want to fit in?” Or “what if you are faced with a situation to fit in versus choose the moral high road?” I think this question hits on what we talked about during our discussion time. One of the things I asked Paul was how do we keep this from being a legalistic, list of rules type of mindset. The only option for that is to view guarding your heart as a proactive thing. That mean making the decision before hand, before you ever get into a situation where you are faced with the above question, to know how you will respond. That way when the pressure’s on, your mind is already decided. We’ll also unpack this a little more over the next three weeks at Saturate Eight.

Paul - I agree with what Adam said and the only other things I’d add is we have to have some principles we’re committed to first. Hopefully those are ones found in the Bible. And from that point, our commitment to Jesus and the truths of the Bible have to be greater than our loyalties to any other person, even our own desire to go with the group or majority. It’s no easy task, but you’ll never be able to do it, if you’re not committed to some core principles…and the Bible provides a great foundation for those.

What’s my plan?

It’s a simple question. For some people it’s incredibly intimidating and others just something that’s not even considered. In our 20′s, it’s easy to just cruise. We can hit auto-pilot and fly through ten years of life then realize all of the sudden it’s time to do something. This is a challenge and a problem we need to figure out sooner then later. We have so much to offer to just let time slip by like that.

Here’s why.

As 20somethings, we have some of the most valuable resources at our finger tips then possibly any other stage of life. I know that might sound crazy, but I really believe it’s true. You might think that you don’t have any money or any experience but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about time, passion, options, energy. These are four things that we have in our 20′s that we need to take a hold of and make a plan. They are also the very things that can distract us from making a plan.

The importance of a plan is simple. If we don’t create any direction or goals we won’t go anywhere. I know I’ve fallen for the idea of waiting till 30 for things to happen. But, that’s not the case. What we do in our 20′s will lay the ground work for the rest of our life. So, don’t you think it’s important more then ever to have a plan? Don’t let it slip by.

What does it look like?

A plan can be simple. It can be complex. It probably depends on who you are and what you are passionate about. It really should be made of goals that can be broken down into short term steps. The trick with creating a plan is finding what works for you. It should help you move along with purpose.

We’d love to hear from you. What’s the next thing you can do that will move you towards your plan? It can be a simple step. Let us know what struggles you have with making a plan.

So, What’s your plan? 

(Photo Props)

During January and February we’re walking through core areas of our 20something journey that we have to navigate well…and then answering your questions. You can listen to this past Tuesday night’s talk HERE.

“Why do we wait until the world around us is coming down to allow God to work on our hearts?”

Emily: I think this depends on each individual circumstance. I think sometimes when things are going ok in our lives, it’s easy forget or take for granted the work that God is doing, wants to do in our hearts, or that we need to rely on him as our source of strength and be grateful for his love. It seems as though for many of us, when we find ourselves in the midst of a tough season we recognize the need to rely solely on God. Often in the midst of struggles in our lives, God reveals himself in new ways…and perhaps that’s one reason why he allows us to journey through things in our lives that aren’t always easy.

Adam: I think this comes back to the idea Emily taught about with reflecting. Often times, in the business of life we don’t take time to reflect. We just don’t allow that space to connect with God to check in on the condition of our hearts and to provide space for God to work in our hearts. Usually, when things are crashing down around us, we stop and think and beg God to help us. Sometimes, it’s through those moments that God does a lot of work in our hearts. The question to ask yourself is, am I living a life that’s dependent on God? I can guarantee that if we live that way, we will find the time to reflect and connect with God.

During January and February we’re walking through core areas of our 20something journey that we have to navigate well…and then answering your questions. You can listen to this past Tuesday night’s talk HERE.

How do you make the switch from using God, to fearing God?

From Paul: We talked about this a bit in the Q&A time with Adam. One important thing to realize is that there will always be tension in this area. It’s a constant battle. But as one begins to make the initial shift from using God to fearing God, I would encourage them to begin to pray the way that Jesus encourages us to in Matthew 6. There’s something about praying “Not my will but yours be done” that causes a shift of perspective for us. That’s just one thing but I’d say a good starting point.

From Adam: This is a great question and one I need to ask for myself too. One of the verses Paul talked about in his teaching was Ecclesiastes 12:13, which is where Solomon was wrapping up his thoughts on life and all it has to offer. He says “Fear God and obey His commands, for this is everyone’s duty.” I think along with Paul’s suggestion to pray and Josh’s suggestion with a mindset adjustment that the next step is to obey God’s commands. And, to know what they are we need to spend time reading His words in the Bible. The result of that is a slow changing of our heart, orienting it to loving and fearing God.

From Josh: It is very easy for us to to use God in ways that we don’t think will hinder our relationship with Him. The fact is, using Him to get what we want can hurt us. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t ask Him for things, but our thoughts and motives to what we are asking for should be aligned according to His will. In doing this, we will began to fear God in a way that draws us closer to Him, in a way that says, “God I respect your authority, and am ready to do your will for my life.”